We Only Thrive When...
Our Past, Present and Future Do Not Have a Chokehold On Our Mind
Hello,
It’s Sunita here.
Quotes inspire us.
But questions empower us.
For questions invite to us to examine and see things in new ways.
That initiates growth and gives us insight.
Todays question is a simple one.
What percentage of space does your past, present and future occupy in your mind right now? Most days?
Past- Present- Future
We cannot escape from these three conceptualized states of mind but when we become rigidly encased in any one of them, it’s usually at the cost of the other two. This calcification of time makes it hard to feel content or energized to move forward.
It’s difficult, some would argue, even impossible, for us to consciously experience our past, present and future, at any one moment, independent of each other.
Is there an ideal state to be in?
Are we capable of erasing our past to live in the coming moment?
Can we live solely in, and for the present, without thinking about our future?
Can we be an empty vessel?
I’d hazard to guess that most of us cannot, unless we spend a very large portion of our time meditating and training our mind to be so.
Examining our past allows us to gain clarity about how it shaped us to be who we are today. Experiencing the present moment permits us to grow from where we are. Imagining a future in our minds eye gives us the direction in which we must move to develop our potential. All these states are important.
There’s much to learn and unlearn from our past in order to actualize our true selves. There is tremendous value in living with our past, present and future at the forefront of our thinking.
But it is not uncommon for us to get stuck in a single state in such a manner that the other two states either disappear from our experience, or seem greatly diminished in their significance to us.
This is an impaired experience of reality.
When this occurs, we are unable to be fully present to take advantage of all the resources (relational, material and environmental) that we have available to us in life.
However, being able to move between these three states with fluidity and awareness at any given moment is learnable. It comes with disciplined, constant and consistent work to understand the workings of our inner world. This leads us to be more aware of how we function. This is a sign of our unconscious becoming conscious to us.
When compounded with a mental disorder, being stuck in a single state leads to additional suffering. Often times, it takes working with a experienced mental health professional, or treatment in a medical setting for many of us to learn how to get unstuck. Because globally, 1 out of 8 of us live with a mental disorder.
A Mental disorder is defined by the WHO as being characterized by a clinically significant disturbance in an individual’s cognition, emotional regulation, or behaviour. It is usually associated with distress or impairment in important areas of functioning. There are many different types of mental disorders. Mental disorders may also be referred to as mental health conditions. The latter is a broader term covering mental disorders, psychosocial disabilities and (other) mental states associated with significant distress, impairment in functioning, or risk of self-harm.
(WHO Fact Sheet on Mental Disorders as described by ICD-11. A resource for you to learn more about the basics of mental disorders.)
Living in the present does not mean we have forgotten our past, nor that we are uncaring of how our future will unfold.
Being present, in a holistic way, signifies our ability to integrate our past and future into the unfolding moment, so it is experienced, and utilized wisely, to anchor our mood, focus, attention, thoughts and actions in ways that generate peace, clarity, love, joy and self actualization.
What percentage of space does your past, present and future occupy in your mind right now? Most days?
Past- Present- Future
Let’s use the visual of this rose bush to help answer the question posed in the beginning of this article.
Moving from top to bottom of the photo above we see a rose in full bloom, a rose bud and finally a young rose.
Let’s look at the bud first.
Is it your past?
Tightly wound, unexplored, unexamined, repressed, forgotten, denied, ignored, misunderstood, not understood?
Is it your present?
Passing by, unnoticed, insignificant, denied, ignored, minimized, surrendered?
Is it your future?
Non- existent, ignored, minimized, unplanned for, not thought of, surrendered?
Let’s look at the rose in full bloom now.
Is it your past?
Taking over, omnipresent, overbearing, oxygen sucking, controlling, ruling, overshadowing, dominant?
Is it your present?
Taking over, dominant, an escape, irresponsible, thrilling for the moment, careless, impetuous?
Is it your future?
Taking over, controlling, guarded, constant planning, living through proxy, banking on the future, letting today go by?
Lastly, let’s look at the young rose.
Is it your past?
Being examined, somewhat understood, offering some perspective and wisdom, a narrative that is starting to yield your truth, a source of more and more clarity?
Is it your present?
A real time experience, engaging, truthful, clear eyed, solid, unfolding, with the potential for more presence?
Is it your future?
Optimistic, unfolding, unclear but from a place of confidence that there’s potential for more, unfinished?
Past- Present- Future
We cannot escape from these three states. Neither do we have to if we have trained our mind to integrate them in our experience of life.
AS- Actionable Suggestion
When feeling imbalanced, a quick way to become unstuck is by asking yourself this question,
How am I currently experiencing my rose garden?
How are the 3 stages of roses matching the 3 states in my mind?
What shift do I need to make to re-gain perspective and feel more balanced in the present moment?
Past Full Bloom Rose
Present Rose Bud
Future Young Rose
Our anxiety and discomfort comes from where our mind (conscious and unconscious) is focused. Is it stuck in our past? Is it racing ahead to our future? Is it avoiding feeling our present?
Professional help is essential for many of us who suffered trauma to be able to regain our balance, but ultimately, we have to learn how to internally regulate our experience of life as it unfolds.
Asking ourselves these simple, clarifying questions can deescalate the process of sinking deeper in the marsh of the home grown, out of proportion to any truth stories we make up, and serve as a reminder to cut out the unnecessary lying to ourselves.
As much as todays post was about important self spot check questions, I see no harm in ending with a quote.
"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
-Peter Drucker
Until next time,
Moving forwards,
Sunita