The Surprising Thing That Gave Me The Space And Grace To Be More.
It was Not What I Had Ever Imagined.
Hello,
It’s Sunita here.
It was a daliy mantra for me. I would recite it with a touch of pride and a sense of healthy self importance. Being in that zone felt like I was paying my dues as a respectable citizen and professional individual.
Looking back, I can see the earnestness that went along with my recitation. I truly believed in the sacredness of the repetition.
Why wouldn’t I?
Most of the people I admired were using the same mantra every day.
I heard it chanted non stop in most every place I visited. It was used as a greeting and a goodbye by many.
But my inner world continue to scream ‘chaos’ instead of being calmed by the mantra. That continued for a long time (years) until I connected my mantra to serving as an excuse to not look at my pain and suffering.
Once I started to do the work (being in therapy is hard work), like all things in my life that had no solid leg to stand on, the mantra started to lose its charm.
To reclaim my true self, I first had to learn to examine every thought, feeling, action and response I had. Well, as many as I could tolerate, as gaining awareness of them was a painful process and required professional help and support over a decent chunk of time.
But with steady practice, I chose to make this examination a habit. That took many years of practice as well.
I am pleased to say that I have dropped the mantra from my vocabulary.
When it makes an unannounced reappearance, or an ambush, I take it as a warning. I recognize that as a shift from mindful living to unconscious living.
That now necessitates a call to action to quickly do a course correction.
So, what is this mantra. You have probably guessed it already.
If you thought of “I Am So Busy” while you were reading this blog, then you are right.
I am no longer busy.
Then what the heck am I doing? Nothing?
On the contrary, I’ve never been more joyfully productive with a deep purpose.
But that conversation is for another time.
The paradigm shift from perceiving myself to be busy to actually designing a life in which I am meaningfully engaged brought me the gift that allowed me the space and grace to be more.
It gifted me a Manageable Life.
Yes, a manageable life.
We will continue to talk about this concept and way of being.
But in the meantime, I’d like to invite you to imagine what a Manageable Life would look like for you.
An actionable suggestion I can offer you today is,
Make a list of what is making your life unmanageable right now.
How does that make you feel?
Until next time,
Moving forwards,
Sunita