Cringe And I-We Are In A Relationship. Are You?
If you're not, you may want to re-examine your position. Here's why!
Hello,
It’s Sunita here.
Last week I made a mistake while publishing the article I wrote for you.
My error inspired me to talk about Cringe today.
“You lack imagination. And you have no good ideas.”
The year was 1919 and these words came from a newspaper editor at the Kansas City Star as he fired an employee.
The individual who was let go went on to create an eponymous company with this mission, ‘To entertain, inform and inspire people around the globe through the power of unparalleled storytelling.’
Had Walt Disney taken his former boss’s words to heart, I doubt he would have been able to accomplish what he did in the field of imagination and ideas in his lifetime.
Looking back, I am certain that editor would be the one feeling cringe today, not Walt Disney.
Here’s another major cringe tale.
After facing 27 rejections (ouch!) of his manuscript, an author was feeling pretty dejected. Rumor has it he was headed home to burn his manuscript in utter dejection. Serendipitously, he bumped into a fellow Dartmouth alumni on his way back who introduced him to his future publisher.
Good thing this author did not burn that manuscript because Ted Geisel, Dartmouth Class of 1925 ended up selling over 600 million copies of his books in his lifetime.
You may know him as Dr. Seuss.
“I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
That’s an easy one. MJ.
I doubt any one of us likes being told we are not good enough.
It stings when we publicly fall short of what we would like to put out as our best effort.
Inhabiting a beginners mindset does not come easy for many of us. There’s a good reason for that. It’s because being a beginner means we will make mistakes and fail many times before we gain any level of proficiency. These failures can be cringe worthy moments.
Cringe is hard to bear. Feeling Cringe can derail us. Cringe can lead us to giving up on ourselves.
Cringe is just that- Cringe :(
Unless, we pursue a relationship with Cringe for the purpose of disarming it.
That’s what I have done.
Yes, it’s true.
Cringe and I are in a relationship.
We have been in this relationship for some years now.
It certainly was not a relationship I was actively seeking. I actually believe it started with a hate- at first- sight moment.
I tried everything to make Cringe go away.
I rebuffed Cringe. I insulted Cringe. I railed against Cringe. I bad mouthed Cringe with my friends. I ignored Cringe.
Things got really bad between us before they got better.
For that to happen, I had to accept the fact that Cringe was here to stay. And that I could actually learn things from Cringe.
Cringe on the other hand had to understand that I was not easily intimidated, or bossed around.
With these agreements in place, we settled into a relationship.
(For the record, Cringe pursued me. I was the reluctant one.)
Here’s the deal we eventually made.
Cringe visits me from time to time. I gleam a lesson from Cringe at those visits. Cringe leaves until the next visit without telling me when that will be.
Cringe and I have had a rocky relationship but now it's settled into a series of small and large forgiveness's.
Despite my historical misgivings about Cringe, I would have to honestly say I would not be half the human I am today without Cringe. (I can’t believe I just admitted that in public!)
No relationship with Cringe?
Embrace Cringe if you want to do anything great.
Be brave. Fail your way to success. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. You will get better at what you choose to put your efforts into by learning after every setback you suffer.
Get comfortable with Cringe and adopt a beginners mindset at the beginning. You will move faster towards mastery that way.
And by the way, Cringe has quite a few aliases. Keep an eye out for them. I only shared a couple here. You probably know most of the rest.
Oops! Yuck! Cringe!
Deal! Learn! Embrace!
Lastly, also keep an eye out for people who tell you they just breezed through to their successes.
They are lying.
I’m telling you the truth.
Progress comes incrementally, and not without failure along the way. But like a flywheel, our efforts gain momentum as we turn the wheel repeatedly, and consistently.
So keep turning! Keep believing in yourself! Keep putting in your best effort!
Success will have no other option but to show up for you.
Until next time,
Moving forward (with Cringe),
Sunita
Cringe sounds a bit like ego. Encouraging
article.